reflecting on my high school years through film

my final year of school

Sep 09, 2024

First things first, thank you so much (from truly the bottom of the heart) for all the support for the blog recently. I started this because I was inspired by

cerys

, and had no inkling that my writing would ever find anyone. I’ve been surprised by the growth of my newsletter recently and I appreciate it more than you could ever know.

This year, I entered my final year of school; the big Year 13. Despite the daunting prospects of finally applying to universities and taking my A-Levels, I can’t help but find the sentiment of this being my last year extremely bittersweet.

Over the last school year, I found so much solace and peace through film. Being able to take myself out of my mind and disappear into a completely new world is something I will never take for granted, and through my exploration of new directors, genre and actors, I have developed such a new and interesting taste.

In honour of beginning this turbulent school year, I have compiled a list of films which resonated with me at the time or I feel represented me back in those schools year. Let’s go back in time.

Year 7: To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018)

To All the Boys I've Loved Before Is an Extraordinary Rom-Com About Ordinary Teens | Vanity Fair

I have a theory that if your winner in the 2018 Netflix romcom trilogy olympics is To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before you are probably gay now. Feel free to prove me wrong though.

This is one of those films which really encapsulated this time period of my life. The countless times I’ve watched this at sleepovers and reread the books. Even all these almost 7 years later, I haven’t lost a nostalgic love for this, and will continue to come back to this every now and again.

I remember distinctly bringing one of the books in the series to a summer camp, which was completely new and strange experience as a total introvert. As awful and traumatising as that trip was, I still distinctly remember how that book sat on my nightstand and transported me back to the movie every time I read it. It is the movies which were there for me when nobody else was are the movies I truly treasure the most.

Year 8 - The Perks Of Being A Wallflower (2012)

The Perks of Being A Wallflower – [FILMGRAB]

My mum bought me the book of this the Christmas of Year 7 and I hadn’t touched it until we were forced to do compulsory reading library lessons. Tucked in my bag, I pulled it out in one of those lessons and a good friend of mine told me she watched the film. We then spent every lesson close together reading my book, asking each other if it was okay to turn the page and me waiting for her to tell me the differences of the movie adaptation.

For me, Year 8 was the beginning the Covid-19 pandemic, yet the first thing I’m drawn to when thinking about Year 8 is reading The Perks Of Being A Wallflower with my friend. Now, we are both set to take our A-Level English Literature exams this year. It is crazy how despite time moving forward, we don’t change.

I first watched the movie a couple months after this happened and I genuinely believe it is one of those book to movie adaptations which is just perfect, despite it’s differences. Emma Watson as Sam? Logan Lerman as Charlie? ‘We accept the love we think we deserve’? Pure perfection.

I could also argue that it is not only my favourite coming of age film but my favourite horror movie after the ‘kiss the prettiest girl in the room scene’.

Year 9 - Aftersun (2022)

The Aftersun afterglow is burning brighter and brighter - The Face

Who would cinemabyizzy be without an Aftersun mention?

Whilst this hadn’t come out yet when I was in Year 9 (and I also hadn’t discovered the wonders of Paul Mescal), I still believe this was extremely reflective of the position I was in in year 9.

Whilst I won’t go into why this film is so personal to me in this post, as I briefly touched on that in my ‘aftersun (2022) is the best film i will never rewatch’ post, I feel like I could apply what I took away from watching to a lot of different portions of my life. It truly is my favourite film, and my friend that recommended this to me has forever ruined my life in the best way possible.

Year 10 - Saw (2004)

I don’t have a lot of great memories from the friend group I had at this time, but watching this franchise with them may be one of them. At this time, my closest friend has this insane cinema room; popcorn machine, candy-floss machine, huge TV. Very unnecessary to have in a home, but we really loved it.

My friend group at the time explored a lot of horror movies at this time and for me, a lot of them fell flat. It was very simple for me to separate the real from not the real, and often found humour in what was supposed to be terrifying. Every time I saw a critic stating this was the scariest film they had ever seen, I always felt completely different.

However, I really loved Saw. Every time we would go to this person’s house, we would watch another and it became a tradition I truly loved.

As much as I don’t like that version of myself in Year 10, I still hold these films quite close to my heart and I definitely need to come back to them soon.

Year 11 - Priscilla (2023)

Priscilla: Movie Next To Real-Life Elvis Pics

I was lucky to watch this film for the first time from the perspective that I no longer related to the character of Priscilla.

I relate this film to my time in Year 11, purely for the representation of isolation. I spent a lot of my Year 11 trapped in my head and trapped inside. With people who should be looking after me and supporting me, who just weren’t, alike to Priscilla. I watched this film for the first time in Year 12, and I not only became a part of the Cailee-Spaeny-pretty-face-nation (coin that), I also became a fan of Sofia Coppola. I am eternally grateful for that.

I became interested in Priscilla and Elvis Presley and their story due to the weird misrepresentation of Priscilla in Baz Luhrman’s Elvis (2022). This stuck with me through the end of Year 11, all the way through Year 12 as I created a poem for my A-Level English Literature Coursework titled ‘Priscilla’ (as the theme was giving a woman a voice who is misunderstood, and from the interpretation of Elvis it was clear to me she was) and even found a way to mention the film in my EPQ which had absolutely nothing to do with film.

This film will stay with me for a while. I would love to write a full post on it eventually.

Year 12 - How To Have Sex (2023)

How to Have Sex: The film that will get everyone talking about consent - BBC News

The first time I watched this was on a film was on a plane to America. I didn’t know much about it, except it had the girl from Tracy Beaker in it and I had heard some good things on TikTok.

The whole Year 10, to 11, to 12 run was extremely tough for me. I was debating whether or not I liked the people around me. I struggled with thinking the obstacles of my health were getting in the way of me living a true ‘teenage dream’. I worried that my dislike of alcohol and smoking in combination with my emetophobia were alienating me. This film made me realise it is okay to not have a clear understanding of who you are and what you are doing, and that everyone shares similar fears and cluelessness.

This film tackles the issues of consent and pressure to grow up too quickly, which I feel extremely strongly about. A lot of this was on my mind constantly during Year 12, and I see Tara (Mia Mckenna-Bruce) in that version of me a lot.

Year 13 - Lady Bird

Finally, present day. I am Lady Bird and she is me.

Greta Gerwig underlies a type of mother-daughter relationship which is hard to put into words. The combat to immediately falling back into nothing, and not having the capability to ever talk about it. That was me and my own mother for a while.

I feel like Lady Bird in the sense that I have big, untraditional dreams. I tell people the career I want interviewing film-makers and actresses and it’s ‘sad’. I tell people my academic achievements, yet I’m still ‘stupid’. It is hard to navigate a town, or even world, which doesn’t seem like it was ever made for you.

As much as I am excited to leave my hometown and be able to meet industry professionals, finally having the opportunity to start what I’ve always dreamed of, I also feel the familiar and unlikely connection to where I grew up like Lady Bird. I won’t miss this place, but a tiny part of me will. I won’t miss my school, but a tiny part of me will. I won’t miss seeing my mum everyday, but I will. In honesty.

I can sense I will be rewatching this a lot this year. It becomes more comforting and applicable to me each time.

And that’s all! If you enjoyed, here are some more posts to look at: